After my divorce, sparked by my husband’s inability to handle my desire for a real, impressive schlong, I was done settling—his underwhelming package just didn’t cut it, and I couldn’t help but crave more. People say size doesn’t matter, only skill, but let’s be real: they’ve never seen a true champion in action. Once you witness that kind of prowess, there’s no going back to calling your husband’s dick big. Everyone’s got their fantasies, right? That’s what my neighbor, a supposed music partner, told me—though our “collaboration” quickly turned into something far steamier, fulfilling those wild desires in ways I never expected.

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